If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you won’t give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy. […] Truth is everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley
Vernon Howard’s Mystic Path to Cosmic Power deals with spiritual and psychological truths in simple terms. The following secrets to meaningful relationships are an excerpt from the very same book.
In a relationship the one with the deeper self-insight is usually the more prized. He tends to be calmer and more grounded.
2. Avoid manipulation
Do not let the behavior of the other person dictate your feelings about yourself.
3. Intentions matter more than actions
Do not trust people’s actions or words at their face value. Instead try to understand their innermost intentions and reasons behind their actions and speech.
4. A sense of individuality
If a friendship or a relationship requires you to give up on your personhood and dignity it is wrong.
5. Feeling a sense of oneness with all other people
Mystically all of us are similar in nature. You can’t hurt yourself without hurting others or vice versa. Similarly you can’t make others happy without making yourself feel the same way.
6. Free yourself from unnecessary desire
When you are free from unnecessary desires you can’t ever be deceived.
7. Avoid constant resistance from things
It is mature to free yourself from maintaining an angry guard constantly. Resistance disturbs your own peace of mind.
The more you understand yourself the better you will get at understanding others.
9. A complete experience of human relationships
Allow yourself to experience all your human relations wholly. Only then you will be able to see things clearly at last.
10. Know what love means
If you know the real meaning of love it wouldn’t hurt you to see your love gone unseen or rejected.
11. Learn how to deal with heartaches
Do not rush away from heartaches from losing a friend. Deal with it and overcome it before finding a replacement.
12. Avoid seeking for social validation
Do not fear from being a ‘nobody’ in the social world. The truth is much deeper than what meets the eye.
13. Value the pleasant and the unpleasant both
A complete experience of the pleasant and unpleasant things combined gives you the real picture of a person.
14. Know what harms you
Do not be blind towards injuries hurting you so much so that you’re surprised when you find others pointing them out.
15. Recognize the virtue in others
We are often unaware of the virtues other people possess. Know the virtues of others even if you do not possess them.
16. Desire is not the same as love
Desire makes you crave for more and more gratification. Love is at peace with itself. It is contained and satisfied.
17. Encourage positivity within yourself
Parts of you desire the loving side of life whereas parts of you do not. Try your best to encourage all that is positive in you.
18. Self esteem
Do not live in fear of what others may think of you. Be who you are and act according to the way you feel without fearing any judgement.
19. Be the real you
Strive to be a real person rather than a loving one. Be your real self without trying to fit into the notion other people may have of you.
20. Transform your inner life into one of goodness
Transforming your inner self into a good and genuine human being is the best gift you’ll ever be able to give anyone. Work on your strengths and make yourself worthy of the love and appreciation. This is a reflection of the greatest love for people.